R.I.P. Paco – You Are Missed

I’m still feeling out Facebook and couldn’t find you (Rosanna) on there, but I still had to let some of my feelings out into this world.

My cousin Paco passed away on the morning of August 1st, 2020. His funeral was today, and a large part of me wishes I was there.

I miss him. Deeply. 

The thoughts of Pac reminded me of a very significant time in my life, one I’ve been blocked from appreciating in recent years.   

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.

It’s been so long that it’s hard to remember the very last time I saw him. It’s kinda crazy how life was so different way back when…

I remember how Paco used to get ragged on for ‘running the streets’ or when he made a fuss over the Tyson vs Spinks fight back in the late 80s ‘cause it was over so fast… lmao.

I’m saddened, but I’ll hold on to Paquito’s memories from back then, knowing that they bring me some small comfort in the face of this grief. 

I remember he enjoyed boxing and used to work out a lot. Paco could do a one armed pushup, which impressed me so much. It inspired me to lift weights. When I went back to Cali after a summer break people were impressed by the size of my arms! (Thanks Paco)

Everyone who knew Pac, Paco, Paquitin… loved him. He was funny, spoke fast… and his laughter was pretty contagious. He used to pretend to be my mom’s boyfriend… LMAO. He was a trip. When he was around, he helped show me the ropes, and how to carry myself around the block. The apartment was tight when mom and I visited yet Paco let me use his bed to sleep.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t there today to pay my respects. I’ve missed a few funerals over the past few years while going through some personal challenges. And, not for nothing, when I saw that the announcement said no hugging you (Rosanna), I knew I wouldn’t make it. It’s been so long since seeing you, I know I wouldn’t resist giving you a big hug the moment I saw you. I also knew I’d be an emotional wreck.

I know the grief is exponentially greater for some of you, but I hope you can find some peace in your happy memories, too.

I love you Rosanna (and all my other family that I haven’t seen for so long). I was very sad to hear that Paco passed away. 

Please reach out if there is anything I can do or to share some memories.

I love you. 

Always, 

Carlito